Serial Kaller (2014)
Summary: A group of beautiful Internet models are trapped inside their recording studio and hunted down by a mentally unstable fan they insulted live on the air. Now the girls must join together to escape and face their murderous stalker, or be picked off one by one. Beauty may only be skin deep, but revenge cuts to the bone.

Internet models? I guess that's a nice way to say virtual phone sex operator. This is an agency where scantily clad women pose for a webcam and receive phone calls from horny dudes. I'm sure there's an official term for this kind of service but I'm not entirely sure what it is. But let's get on with the review.

So the movie starts off with a quick scene of one of the girls being murdered. Then it goes to some kind of flash back of a kid who likes wearing his mom's makeup. The mom is saying good bye to him as she is about to go to the hospital to have some routine plastic surgery done. This should be a simple surgery but somehow she doesn't make it through. The kid freaks out and the scene is over. From there, the movie shifts back to the studio where the vast majority of the movie takes place. Where are introduced to Tanya and the rest of the girls. Tanya is the main focus as she is on camera and takes a phone call from a customer who is apparently a regular caller. She tells the caller she is about to go on break. Once she hangs up with them, she gets on the mic to let her viewers know she is going on break. She accidentally leaves the mic on as her and the other girls make fun of the caller about how pathetic they are. Movie jumps around a lot from that point on as it introduces new characters, and switches to a couple settings. The movie shifts to the night club that the girls go to after work. They are sitting in a what looks to be the VIP section which would be completely understandable had it not been for the fact that there was no one in the club. I get not being able to book a bunch of actors but you could have had members of the crew stand in there just to make it look as though it were a legit club. This is around the point where the “horror” officially begins. Two girls are killed, one right after the other. The second one really bothered me. The woman is killed by being slashed repeatedly with a broken champagne bottle. The finishing cut was a slash to throat. Nothing really wrong with that but I tend to be one of those people that get bothered more by little things, background things. In this case, it was the blood stains left behind. After the kill slice, blood splatter in the shape of a cloud appeared on the wall behind the girl. The splatter was not consistent with the death. Who knows, maybe I've just watched to much CSI in my time but the splatter on the wall looked more like something you would see from a gun shot or blunt force trauma. Throat slice would leave a streak of blood, not a cloud. This really has nothing to do with the movie as a whole but in my opinion when you are attempting to make an independent film, you need to pay attention to the little details.

Anyway, film shifts back to the studio where the kill streak peaks. Remember when you were a kid hanging out with friends and one friend would go off on his own and one at a time each friend would go looking for him until there was no one left around? That's basically what happens here. All the girls are on set but they leave one at a time to be picked off, while no one really notices that girls are leaving and not coming back. Deaths varied with most of them being pretty common; strangulation, stabbing, etc.... Some were a bit more off the wall, like a man and woman being electrocuted while having sex because the killer shoved a power cable in his butt. Somehow, no matter how bloody the deaths were, it was cleaned up perfectly. There was never a trace that a murder had been committed. For some reason, every time someone gets killed, it flashes to a clip of a scalpel cutting through flesh. This all leads up to a final showdown that is somewhat confusing and extremely predictable.

There wasn't much to this movie to hold my interest at all. The acting was basically what I expected. Actors did the best for what they had to work because the story itself was very poorly written. There was next to no intelligent dialogue at all. Most of the conversations were the equivalent of listening to high school girls talking. There was nothing shocking, not a single thing that couldn't be seen coming from a mile away. There was some pretty decent special effects work done but even a good portion of that was out of place and seemed to be forced into the story. To be honest, there was really nothing about this movie I enjoyed, and that's saying a lot considering the whole female cast is next to naked for almost the whole film.
reviewed by Bobby

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